Patel College: FW: Serious Incident today at Patel College

I just linked together all these together for you... office emails. . .

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Dear All,

Today we had a serious and disturbing incident at the college.

At around 4.20pm today, several important and valuable items went missing from the ground floor of our building and the building went into 'lock-down'. An extensive search was carried out, and finally the items were found on our floor in the space where we have the coffee station. An armed police officer came to our floor with a team of 3 administrators to recover the items, and they were safely removed. Many items were missing from the original batch and concerns were raised about where the missing items went. This was an extremely embarrassing and disturbing event for the Patel College of Global Sustainability – something I will never be able to live down.

FYI, the important and valuable items that went missing were a few sandwiches. These were no ordinary sandwiches – they were Aramark 'specials'- you know the ones that are stale and taste like old shoes. Anyhow a search was undertaken on our floor by an armed police officer and the sandwiches were recovered. However, several sandwiches were missing (a detailed audit was performed). When the armed police officer arrived, George panicked (he had bread crumbs and bits of ham on his lips) and locked himself in the women's restroom (he might still be there!). Kelly was enjoying one of the sandwiches and had only completed half, when the police officer arrived. She had to quickly dispose of the evidence (I'm sure she might be experiencing serious indigestion as a result). Sue, Alyssa and I had to experience the humiliation of the search (we were asked to stand with our hands behind our backs and not to say a word). Unfortunately, it's not clear who removed the sandwiches from the ground floor, but the police officer described the suspect as having long hair, wears a tie that does not match his shirt, and he has the initials EW. Not sure who it could be, but I would welcome your help in tracing this person.

This really happened today folks!!! It was surreal! That's why it's always fun working at the Patel College.

Moral of the story…..please don't take food from the ground floor when they're having events (and if you do please, please, please don't get caught! …..there's always someone watching you!).

Have a good night.

Best, Kala

Sent: Tuesday, February 18, 2014 9:41 PM

Hi Kala:

Thanks for this heads up on the current crime wave at the College. I may need to bring my pirate sword until the crime wave dies down.

I am glad to hear that no one tried to do any texting when the police arrive on our floor. I have heard that retired police officers have been known to shoot people for this offense.

To be proactive on this serious matter, I have prepared the attached poster for you to circulate around the office.

Be Well,

Dave